The Loss
by Ira4
Summary: One of Nick's worst nightmares comes true.
1. Nick

_I'm not cheating on my other fic, I just have a little fanfiction problem (is there an F.A group anywhere?). _

_Hope you like this._

_I don't own the characters etc._

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>-Nick-<strong>

* * *

><p>Things in Nick's life weren't perfect but they were getting better. He was doing well at his job, spending time with his son, talking as much as possible with his daughter. And things with Amanda were going great too. At work they did the best they could to hide it and kept their distance, but when they were alone at her or at his place they got as close as possible.<p>

Yes, things were getting better but that was about to change. He didn't know it yet, but there was something he was going to lose.

And he wouldn't see it coming.

* * *

><p>Nick glanced at the clock on his phone. It was still early and he turned to look at Amanda, she was sleeping next to him.<p>

Lying on her stomach, she was half covered with the blanket, leaving her back bare. He reached to caress it gently with his hand. He didn't want to wake her up, but it felt so good to be close to her, to watch her body move as she breathed. Her skin felt soft so he moved closer to her and gave her a light kiss on her shoulder.

She stirred a little and he moved away, only to lay his head next to hers.

He knew she would wake up soon. She usually woke up early, as she had a trusty alarm clock named Frannie who, in case Amanda felt like sleeping in or just staying in bed a little longer, would climb on the bed and made sure her owner got up. Nick got that wake up greeting before, and not that he minded, he loved Frannie. But he would rather be kissed by Amanda.

He didn't have to worry about that now as he could see she was slowly waking up. She stretched a little and then turned around, sensing he was near her. She closed the small gap between them and her lips touched the skin above his collar bone as his arms moved around her so he could feel her closer.

"Morning" she mumbled, her lips not moving away from his skin.

"Morning" he replied, caressing her hair and looking down at her. She moved up a bit and gave him a kiss on his lips.

"What?" she asked as she pulled away, looking at the smile displayed all over his face. He shrugged a little and kept smiling.

"We should get up" she told him while sitting up "no time to fool around"

"Not even in the shower?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Mmm…" she narrowed her eyes a little, as if she was thinking about it but then she grabbed his hand and pulled him after her.

A little while later they were at her kitchen, having some light breakfast. She was already dressed for work and Nick was wearing jeans and a T-shirt.

"Coffee?" she asked pouring herself some.

"No thanks" he said.

She took a sip and frowned, spitting the coffee back into the cup "awful" she spilled the coffee into the sink "I think it has gone bad"

He smiled at her expression "you drink way too much coffee anyway" he commented.

"Thanks" Amanda rolled her eyes at him a little bit, but she had a smile "I'll buy some later" she took a bite of her toast.

He finished his food and washed his plate and the empty cup of coffee Amanda placed in the sink just a moment earlier.

He leaned against the counter and watched her as she finished eating.

"Let me" he took the plate from her and she thanked him.

"I'm gonna take Frannie for a walk, you gonna to go back home?" she asked.

"Yeah" he nodded as he finished washing her plate.

They looked at each other for a moment and then he walked over to her and kissed her "have a good day at work"

"Have a good day off" she replied "and a good weekend"

"I will" he smiled "you too"

"Have fun with Zara" she smiled at him and this time she kissed him.

* * *

><p>Nick and Amanda rarely spent the weekends apart. During the week they were focused on work and he usually didn't spend the night at her place.<p>

But they had the weekends to themselves, usually spending them at her place. Not only in bed though.

But this weekend was different.

Zara had a long weekend and Maria was bringing her to visit him. Their plan had been to visit Maria's parents in D.C first and then bring her to Nick so they could spend most of the weekend together. The flight back was scheduled to Sunday evening.

Nick hadn't seen her since they moved to L.A and he was very happy to spend time with her not on Skype. Unfortunately Gil wasn't in town this weekend since he went with Cynthia to visit her mom, so he couldn't spent the weekend with both his children.

But he took what he could get.

He took the day off so he could get his house ready for Zara's visit. Maria called him when they got to D.C and Zara was excited to talk to him, asking him what he had planned for them and he happily told her.

She seemed so grown up when they finally arrived. Maria wished them a good weekend and drove away. Things between Nick and Maria were civil, they weren't friends but they weren't arguing, not as much as they used to.

His mother came over and they've spent the afternoon together. Zara missed both her grandmother and her father very much, as much as they missed her. She shared stories about her school and friends, about her activities and hobbies and the trip to Disneyland she took with her mom two weeks before. Even though Nick had already heard everything about it he didn't mind her sharing again.

She seemed to love L.A, but Zara got used to places fast so Nick wasn't surprised she liked it there. She was friendly and outgoing. More like her mother actually, since Nick was a suspicious man and didn't trust people easily. A part of him was glad about it, he didn't want his daughter growing up afraid of others, but another part was afraid she might be too trusting.

The weekend went by too fast.

They watched a movie together, went to what used to be their favorite diner. Played baseball in central park and just had fun together.

He did miss Amanda, but since spending time with his daughter was so rare, they both decided he should spend all his time with her.

It was tough for both of them when Sunday had arrived, they ate breakfast and watched cartoons until Maria picked her up. He gave her a big hug and told her how much he misses and loves her.

"I love you too daddy" she said.

"Te adoro" he said when he let her go.

"Thanks for bringing her over" he told Maria.

"Sure" she nodded "she misses you"

"Yeah" he said quietly "things are fine for you back there?" he asked.

"It's great" Maria answered. It was a little awkward so they said their goodbyes.

He watched them as they walked away. Missing Zara already.

* * *

><p>They had some time as their flight was pushed back a little so Maria and Zara ate something at a small restaurant Maria liked while she was still living in New York.<p>

"Can I get a candy from the machine now mom?" Zara asked, they passed the machine on the way to the restaurant and Maria promised she could have one after she ate.

"Here" she gave her a coin for the machine "buy one and come back straight here, I'm gonna go to the bathroom for a moment"

"Ok mom" she said before walking outside.

Maria smiled at her before she walked to the bathroom, they didn't have a lot of time left before they had to be in the airport.

* * *

><p>Amanda didn't answer when he called her, he figured she was busy, maybe caught a meeting like she did many Sunday nights.<p>

He took a quick shower and made himself a snack when his phone rang. He hoped it was Amanda as he really wanted to talk to her.

But it wasn't.

"Maria?" he asked "what's going on?"

"Nick" her voice was strained "it's Zara, she's gone"


	2. Zara

**Chapter 2**

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><p><strong>-Zara-<strong>

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><p>Never in his life had Nick felt so numb.<p>

His limbs became frozen, his mind was empty.

"It's Zara, she's gone"

That's all he could hear, the words were twirling in his head.

"Nick?" he suddenly realized the phone was still by his ear.

"Where are you?" Nick's voice was back and he finally could format a sentence.

Maria let him know the address and he didn't know if he answered her but he took his keys and walked to his car.

Nick wasn't sure what he was doing. Did he lock the door on the way out? Did he open the car's door? Was he driving? It felt like it wasn't happening, was Zara really gone?

He felt weak, light headed. As if he was nowhere and nothing was real.

Somehow he managed to call Benson, he didn't say much, or maybe he did, he couldn't remember what he had told her. When he finally reached the restaurant she was there along with other cops. Some seemed to be interviewing people, others were on their phones or walking somewhere. Nick could see that Olivia didn't notice he had arrived.

He saw Maria sitting on a chair and he walked towards her. He changed his mind a moment later as he wasn't sure he could speak to her peacefully.

"Liv" he ran over to her "what's going on?"

"Did you talk to Maria?" she asked him.

"Not yet, I just got here, what's going on?" Nick repeated the question.

"Nick" she said walking to the side so they could have some privacy "I know this is hard but…"

"Please don't give me that bull" he tried to control his voice "just tell me what's going on"

"Maria told me Zara walked out of the restaurant to the machine" she pointed at it's direction and he turned his head to look at it "she walked to the bathroom and when…"

"She went to the bathroom" Nick repeated, he turned away, scratching a non existing itch under his right eye.

"Do you have anything?" he asked, turning to face her.

"The officers are interviewing witnesses, and I've sent others to get footage from every security camera in the area" he nodded "Nick, I want you to go back to the station with me, I'm taking Maria there too" Olivia looked at him, he was still quiet "we'll find her Nick"

* * *

><p>Back at the station Nick saw Amanda and Fin walk out of the elevator. Olivia drove him and Maria to the and they were about to go into her office.<p>

Nick was at the restaurant only for a short time but he hadn't seen them there. They looked like they had been out for a while though. Amanda gave him a concerned look once she'd seen him and he followed her with his gaze as she walked to her desk.

Olivia called him and he walked after her and Maria into her office.

"Sit down" she told them "Nick?" Olivia turned to him as he was still standing.

"I rather stand" he answered "I want to hear what happened"

Olivia gave him a look, she could see the anger in his eyes, but he wasn't looking at her "what happened?" he asked Maria.

She had tears in her eyes, but she tried to speak calmly "the flight was pushed back so we went to eat there, we were a bit late and she wanted to buy something from the machine so I gave her money and went to the bathroom, I was gone for just a few minutes…"

"Few minutes? To save a little bit of time you've left her alone for a few minutes?" Nick asked, Olivia was about to say something but he raised his arm a bit, asking her to let him talk "after all this years, all the stories I've told you, you left her alone?"

"Nick…" Olivia tried again.

But Nick didn't listen, he was filled with rage now and his voice got louder until it turned into screams "how could you do that? She is just a little girl, how could you? You took her away from me and now she might be…what were you thinking? You just left her…"

"Enough!" Liv shouted and he looked at her.

Nick didn't say anything else, he had to get out of there, he just couldn't handle it.

He slammed the door on his way out and walked out side of the squad room, ignoring the looks of the other detectives and officers.

* * *

><p>Feeling the punching bag against his fists was better than nothing, at least he could feel the pain caused by the friction between his skin and the fabric. It didn't mask the pain of his daughter being gone, but at least he could control this pain, at least he knew where it originated and how he could make it stop.<p>

But it wasn't enough.

Nick's eyes were focused on the bag, he didn't want to see anything else. He didn't want to think, he only wanted to erase everything from his mind.

"Nick" he heard someone call him, the voice was soft and he could hear the worry in it. He didn't have to turn to know who it was.

She walked over to him but he kept on hitting the bag, but a little slower now.

"Nick" she called him again when she stood next to him, one hand reached his to stop him from throwing another punch.

Amanda held on to his hand, it wasn't too firm, but strong enough so he would understand she wanted him to stop.

He looked at her and for a moment they stared at each other, looking into one another's eyes until he lowered his arm and turned his whole body towards her.

She moved closer, until only a few inches separated between them. Her left hand reached to gently touch his chest.

"It will be ok, we will find her" She told him

He shook his head "all I think about is what might happen…I can't…"

It was her turn to protest "I know, but right now you need to be strong for her, you can't argue like that with Maria, you can't blame her"

"She…" he tried but Amanda didn't let him talk.

"The only person who's to blame is the one who took her, and we will do everything" she could tell he was about to protest "_everything_, and we will find her. But Nick, when we do she's gonna need both of you, both you and Maria" she stopped for a second, he didn't say anything, but he was focused on her so she continued "you need to be strong for Zara, both of you need to be strong"

"Yeah" he whispered, his eyes getting teary "but I just…Amanda, I just can't breathe…"

"I know" she nodded and then put her arms around him, embracing him. It felt better, not painful at all. He held on to her tightly, not caring if anyone walks in right now.

He wasn't sure how long they were standing there, but he knew he had to let her go at some point. Pulling away she reached out to wipe a tear that had rolled down his cheek, her hand lingered there a bit and she gave him a little smile.

"It will be alright" she said before leaving, she had to go back.

Nick wanted nothing more than to believe her, he needed everything to be alright. But is it really going to be? Will he ever see Zara again?

* * *

><p>A few minutes after Amanda had left the room he walked back to Benson's office.<p>

"I'm sorry" he apologized to Maria the moment he walked through the door, avoiding the look he knew Liv would give him "I shouldn't have blamed you" he said.

"You were right Nick" she said "if I didn't let her go alone…"

"It doesn't matter now" he said, clearly he was still mad, but he did his best to control his voice "let's focus on finding her"

"That's what we are doing" Liv said and walked over to Nick "come with me"

They walked out of her office towards Fin's desk "I want the two of you to go through the cases we've worked, see if anyone could be behind this, and Nick" she gave him a severe look "stay here, if you find something" she turned to look at Fin "send someone else"

"Ok" Fin nodded.

"Rollins" she turned to look at Amanda "go through every piece of footage"

"On it" Amanda said, glancing at Nick for a second, he seemed focused on the files Fin handed him.

* * *

><p>"Come in" the man said as he opened the door.<p>

The little girl walked into the apartment and looked around.

"We'll stay here while we wait" he smiled at her.

* * *

><p><em>tbc...<em>


	3. Amanda

**Chapter 3**

* * *

><p><strong>-Amanda-<strong>

* * *

><p>For Amanda Saturday went by slowly. She realized that it had been a pretty long time since she'd spent it alone. She usually spent it with Nick and since he was spending the weekend with Zara she wasn't sure what to do.<p>

It was as if she got used to his presence there and now that he was away she felt a little lonely.

She spent a lot of time at the park with Frannie. And when they got home she curled up with her and read a book.

Sunday morning she got a call.

They had a case, she met Fin at the hospital "you ok?" she asked with a smile once he got out of his car, he seemed somewhat tired.

"Mostly" he nodded "too much fun on Saturday"

"Want me to handle this?" she offered.

"Nah, it's cool" he reassured her.

They walked inside the hospital to talk to the doctor and the victim. After interviewing the vic they had to check out the crime scene and speak with a couple of witnesses.

That kept them busy for a while, when they were done Amanda saw she had a missed call from Nick. She would have loved to talk to him, hear about his weekend with Zara, maybe meet up with him later.

But she couldn't want to call him around Fin.

Fin's phone rang and he looked concerned as he listened to the person on the other line.

"What is it?" she asked him when he hung up.

"It was Liv" he let her know "it's Amaro's kid, she'd disappeared"

* * *

><p>They rushed to the station, and Amanda could see the look in Nick's eyes when she walked into the room. It hurt her seeing him like that, she wanted to make him feel better but the only way to do that was to find the girl.<p>

They also had to deal with their case so she tried to put the information in the system as fast as possible, they would wait for the results from the rape kit for a few days, and as soon as she would finish with the report she could focus on Zara.

Soon enough they heard Nick's voice coming from Olivia's office. Amanda knew how angry he could get, not that she was afraid he'd hit Maria, but Amanda was worried about him. He slammed the door of Benson's office, not making eye contact with anyone as he walked away.

But Amanda knew where he was going. She made an excuse after a few minutes and walked after him to the gym.

She watched him for some time, his eyes focused on the bag, fists hitting it hard. He wasn't wearing gloves and his skin was a little scuffed. She called him after a while, tried to calm him down, held him close.

* * *

><p>While Nick and Fin were going through the latest cases they've worked on, she was watching the footage from various security cameras. She was focused on her computer screen, searching for anything that might help.<p>

Olivia sent Maria to rest at the bunks room and she checked in with the detectives.

Amanda listened as Fin and Nick shared their thoughts with Benson, she sent officers to check out alibis and interview the suspects. There was no way she would let Nick talk to anyone.

"I think I've got something" Amanda said and they all waked over to her desk "the camera at the restaurant wasn't working, but I got this from an office near by"

She showed them the footage she was talking about. The quality wasn't very good, and at first they weren't sure what they were looking at.

"Here" she pointed at a corner on the screen "that's her"

They could see Zara near the machine, she was looking at it for a while before inserting the coin. She took the candy out and ate it while still standing there. But then something caught her attention. She looked to her right and walked to that direction.

"That's it?" Nick asked, as they couldn't see anything else.

"Yeah" Amanda nodded, keeping her eyes on the screen so she wouldn't see the disappointed look on his face "I'll go through the other cameras in that direction"

"Good" Olivia said "keep going"

"Let me help" Nick asked but Olivia shook her head at him.

"No, I shouldn't even let you work with Fin right now, but I'm not sending you home so I could keep an eye on you because honestly, I don't trust you to stay at home, but if you want to stay here you will do what I say, clear?"

"Yeah" he replied unwillingly.

Amanda knew how hard it was on Nick, but Olivia was right, he wouldn't have been able to sit at home and wait, he would probably search for each and every perpetrator he'd encountered and try to beat out information from them.

* * *

><p>It took her some more time but she finally found something.<p>

Amanda walked to Benson's office, she wanted to inform her about it first, not wanting to rattle Nick, she knew it won't be easy for him.

"I sent you the file" she told Olivia "I'll show you, it's very short, but I couldn't find anything else"

She walked over to the desk and moved so she could reach the keyboard.

They looked at the screen, just as Amanda had said it was just a brief moment, but they could see Zara walking next to a man. He was wearing a hoodie, his face was hidden.

"That's it?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, I think they turned here cause I couldn't see them on other security cameras"

"Show this to Nick and Fin" Olivia sighed. She exchanged a look with Amanda, both of them thinking the same thing.

It looked as if Zara knew the kidnapper.

* * *

><p>"You think it's someone she knows?" Maria asked.<p>

"From the little we have it doesn't look like she's uncomfortable or scared" Olivia explained.

"Look" Amanda showed them the footage.

"No" Maria whispered, her eyes filling with tears.

"I know we can't see him, maybe you recognize something about him?" Olivia asked, looking at Maria as Nick already told them he doesn't recognize the man.

"I don't know" Maria said "I don't think so"

"If it is somebody she knows chances are you might know him too" Olivia said "someone from school or work…"

"I'm sorry" Maria looked down "I don't know, I don't recognize him"

"Try to think" Nick said, he saw Amanda's look and tried to lower his voice "maybe someone you had a dispute with or…"

"There is no one Nick" Maria stood up "if I had any idea I'd tell you"

"Rollins" Olivia turned to her "why don't you and Maria go through Zara and Maria's schedule, see if there's anything that pops out and Nick" she looked at him "you do the same with Fin"

* * *

><p>It did feel a bit awkward to talk to Maria, but Amanda was focused on finding Zara and did her best to ignore it.<p>

"So your parents met you at the airport?" Amanda asked.

Maria nodded.

"And did you go straight to their house?"

"Yes, we spent the day with them and later I drove Zara to Nick"

"Ok" Amanda nodded "whose car was it?"

"A rental" she answered, giving Amanda the name of the agency.

"And where did you go after dropping her off?"

"I spent some time in the city but not a lot of time, I met up with a friend" she gave her the name "after that I drove back to D.C and I was with my parents until Sunday"

"Ok" Amanda wrote it down.

"You know what happened next, I left her alone and now somebody has her and I don't know what to do" she sounded stressed and kept on going "how could I be so stupid?"

"No, Maria" Amanda said "you made a mistake but it wasn't your fault, you can't blame yourself"

"The look on Nick's face, he blames me"

"He's really worried, but he knows it's not on you, we will find her"

* * *

><p>"Coffee?" Fin asked and handed Amanda a cup.<p>

"Thank you so much" she smiled at him, they've been concentrating on the case and both needed a moment to breath.

"Any progress?" she asked.

"Nothing, at least Amaro is keeping it together" he shrugged "or trying to"

Amanda nodded, she drank some of the coffee, it didn't taste good, but she was getting tired and wanted some caffeine, maybe Nick was right, she drinks too much coffee.

She called the rental agency to get their security footage, hoping she could see something there. Maria and Zara were there but nobody stood out so she got their records as well.

"Hey" she called Fin "check this out"

"What'd you find?" he asked her, walking to her desk.

"The rental agency sent me their records, so these are Maria's details, I went through all the cars that were rented after that and look" she gave him a page "this is the only other man with a California drivers license, it says here he lives in L.A, Charles Flyn"

"And he's the only one?" Fin asked.

"Worth checking" she said "show this to Benson, I'll try to get his credit card information, maybe he used it here"

* * *

><p>"Tell me you found something" Nick said, he rushed over to Amanda's desk after Fin shared the news, followed by Liv, Maria and Fin.<p>

"Looks like the last time he used it was back in L.A" she answered "the name rings a bell?"

"He works at the company" Maria said "he works security, Zara met him a couple of times but he's a nice guy I mean…"

"Nice guy?" Nick asked but stopped when he saw the way Amanda looked at him.

"What can you tell us about him?" Olivia looked at Maria.

"I don't know him that well, he was in the army and we talked about it sometimes"

"He ever spent anytime with her? Talk to her?" Benson asked.

"Not alone" Maria shook her head, looking at Nick "never alone, they just talked a bit, that's all"

"Make sure we get a BOLO on him" Olivia told Fin and he walked to his desk to make the call "try to find anything you can about him, if he has any relatives or friends here"

"On it" Amanda said.

* * *

><p>They didn't find any relatives in the area, but after contacting people he'd known in L.A they managed to find someone he'd served with and lived in New York.<p>

Amanda went over there to talk to him.

"Have you heard from Charles?" Amanda asked.

She was at the apartment of Travis Crane, they served together for two years and he seemed like the only person who had a connection to Charles Flyn in the area.

"Not for a long time, he's in New York?" Travis asked.

"We think so, you sure you haven't heard from him?" her voice was more aggressive now.

"No" he said "honestly, we haven't been in contact for years, we're not exactly best friends" he answered her.

"Any reason for that?" she asked.

"Not really, last I heard he moved to California, that's all I know, why are you asking about him?"

"He might have information about a kidnapping of a little girl" she explained.

"Information?" he asked "or is he a suspect?"

"Now why would you think so? Could he be dangerous?"

"I don't know" Travis shrugged "he got in to trouble a couple of times, he didn't have it easy, not in the service and not when he was a kid"

"Did he ever get violent?"

"Nothing serious" he replied "I do know he got into fights when he was in foster care, moved a lot" Amanda nodded, waiting for him to continue "actually, I think he has a foster sister somewhere in the city"

"Do you know her name?" this could be an important lead.

"I've even met her once" he started looking for something "here" he said, handing her a something that looked like a post card but was an invitation to a party.

"This is her address" he said "she had this party not long after we got back home, I think that was the last time I've seen Charlie"

"You know if she still lives there?"

"I think she's in Mexico now" he smiled "I'm not sure whether she moved there or not"

"Do you mind if I take this?" she raised the card.

"Take it, no problem"

* * *

><p>"I'm on my way now Fin" Amanda told him "I should be there soon".<p>

"Wait till we get there, that guy might be dangerous" Fin tried, knowing very well Amanda would not wait for back up.

Amanda didn't want to make promises she would break so she said nothing.

She was almost at the building and decided not to wait, they had no idea what this guy has been thinking, who knows how much time they had.

The building was very old. There was a large window so you could see the street from the inside. Most of the doors looked half rotten, you could break in with a couple of kicks.

The apartment was on the third floor, it looked as bad as the others but Amanda knocked first.

"NYPD, open the door" she called but nobody answered "Charles Flyn" she tried again "open the door or I'll break it down"

She thought she heard something inside but the door was still closed. She took out her gun and kicked the door.

She was right about it's state, one kick was enough to get it to open.

Charles was standing there, he looked at her.

"Charles Flyn" she said "I'm detective Rollins, where is she?"

"Maybe you should take down your gun detective" he said, his voice was calm "I don't have a weapon" he lifted his hands a bit.

"I think I will keep it, where is she?"

There was a noise from another room and Amanda turned to look at that direction.

Zara walk out of it.

She seemed fine and Amanda lowered the gun so she wouldn't scare her, but she kept it in her hand, in case Charles tried something.

"Hey Zara" she smiled at her "you remember me?"

"Amanda" Zara smiled at her "you work with my dad"

"That's right honey" Amanda smiled back but then glanced at Charles, he was still standing in the same position "why don't you wait for me outside" she told her "he asked me to take you to him"

"Alright" Zara said "bye Mr. Flyn" she waved and walked outside.

Amanda raised her gun the moment Zara was out of the door.

"I didn't hurt her" he smiled "she's completely safe"

"Turn around, hands around your back" she said.

"Ok, don't worry detective" he did as he was told.

Amanda walked towards him slowly, she put her gun back in it's place and took out her handcuffs.

She was about to grab one of his arms when he turned around quickly. His fist hitting her abdomen with such force she felt the wind being knocked out of her.

She felt a rush of adrenaline, and managed to kick him through the pain. He fell down and she managed to cuff him to the radiator that seemed to be connected to the wall.

She needed to get out of there.

It wasn't the first time she'd been hit like that, but it felt different this time. She felt a sharp pain and had to sit down. She walked out the door and looked around, where was Zara? Didn't she ask her to wait outside?

But Amanda couldn't think about it for long, she felt dizzy, but it didn't last long, a moment later she was lying on the floor.


	4. The Loss

**Chapter 4**

* * *

><p><strong>-The Loss-<strong>

* * *

><p>"Amanda got this address" Fin let Olivia know, Nick and Maria were at her office too "it belongs to his foster sister"<p>

"Did you tell her to wait until we get there?" Olivia asked.

"Do you think she'd listen? No way" Fin shook his head, he knew his partner.

"I'll get a SWAT team there, we have no idea what we're dealing with" Olivia gave him a look, she knew Fin was right, Amanda would not wait for them to get there.

"I'm going with you" Nick said.

"Nick…" Olivia tried but he didn't let her continue.

"Please, I can't sit here and wait, I promise to stay out of your way"

She looked at him for a moment, thinking about it "ok"

"I'm not staying here" Maria said.

Olivia and Fin exchanged a look, she decided not to argue and let her come after she promised to stay in the car.

* * *

><p>Nick felt like the ride was taking forever, he had no idea what to think or what to expect, Amanda wasn't answering her phone and he was scared.<p>

They finally reached the building, he could see some people from the SWAT team waiting for them.

"Stay here" Olivia looked at him and then at Maria, she didn't want them running inside. They did walk out of the car but promised to stay near it.

Olivia went over with Fin to brief the SWAT team. They were standing by the front door, waiting for her approval to go inside.

But just a moment before she was about to say ok a little girl ran outside.

"Daddy!" she shouted and Nick turned around, it was Zara.

"Zara!" he ran to her, Maria followed him.

"Dad" he hugged her and could feel tears forming in his eyes.

Olivia watched them, she was glad to see the little girl in her father's arm. She seemed unharmed. But where was Rollins?

She gave Fin a questioning look and he nodded, walking into the building with a couple of men after him.

"Honey, I was so worried, I love you so much" Maria put her arms around her daughter once Nick let her go.

"Hey Zara" Olivia smiled at her, she was in Maria's embrace.

"Hey Olivia" Zara greeted her.

"How are you feeling?" she asked her.

"Fine, I waited for you for a long time mom" Zara said, holding on to Maria.

"Why don't you wait in the car, I'll make sure someone drives you to the station" Liv looked at Nick, they needed to talk to Zara at the precinct "honey, have you seen Amanda?"

Zara nodded "she told me to wait for her but I saw dad through the window"

Olivia called one of the officers, told him to take them to the station. They got into the car and drove away just when Liv heard a siren.

* * *

><p>Fin made his way to the third floor.<p>

"Amanda" he called, he saw her lying on the floor and called a bus.

"Amanda" Fin said "go inside" he told the other men. They let him know Flyn was in there, handcuffed.

He checked her pulse and calmed down a bit once he felt it "hold on" he told her.

* * *

><p>"What happened?" Olivia ran to Fin once the EMTs walked out of the building, Amanda was lying in a gurney.<p>

"I don't know, he ain't talking" he gestured at Flyn, who was being pushed into a car by one of the SWAT team members.

"I'll stay here, drive to the hospital, make sure she's alright"

Fin nodded and ran to his car.

* * *

><p>Was this real? Was his daughter really alright?<p>

Nick half expected to wake up to a horrific reality where she's gone. But she was right there. She was safe, telling Olivia how she saw Charlie on the street and he greeted her, she knew he worked with her mother. Then he took out his cell phone and called Maria (which wasn't true according to Maria) to ask permission to take Zara to see some street performance or something, Zara couldn't remember exactly. But he took her to the apartment, he let her watch TV and gave her pizza.

Charlie told her that the performance was canceled so her mom would pick her up soon. After some time Amanda showed up and asked her to wait for her outside of the apartment.

And then she saw her dad.

Unlike Zara, Charles Flyn wasn't talking. He was quietly sitting in the interrogation room, staring at the mirror.

Part of Olivia wanted to send Nick there, maybe that would make him talk. But she knew better, the squad and Nick had enough problems in the past months.

She sent them home, and Maria said they would leave tomorrow. Nick didn't want Zara to sleep at a hotel so he asked Maria to spent the night at the house they once shared, he knew it would be awkward, but there was no way he'd stay away from his daughter tonight.

Amanda.

He realized he hadn't seen her, Olivia didn't say anything. He walked back into Benson's office to ask her what's going on.

"I must have forgotten to let you know" she said "I don't really know what happened, but Fin found her passed out outside of the apartment, she's at the hospital"

"What? She alright" Nick asked, trying to control his emotions, she was at the hospital?

"I need to check with Fin" she answered, he hadn't called, but she figured that was good news.

"I'll call him" he reached his phone, his voice was shaky.

"Nick" Olivia stopped him "go home, I will come by later and update you about Amanda and about the case, but you need to be with your daughter now"

He nodded and walked to his car. He gave Zara another hug before sitting in the driver's sit.

Nick was thrilled his daughter was safe, but was Amanda?

* * *

><p>"You gave me quite a scare" Fin smiled at his partner who was lying in the hospital bed "I've been hospitalized before, the beds are not that comfortable"<p>

She smiled at him, Fin thought she looked a bit pale, but other then that she seemed fine.

"Be honest, are you trying to meet a handsome doctor?" he joked.

"You're such a good detective Fin" she answered.

"Well, there are easier ways"

"I'll remember that next time" she smiled.

Fin looked at her as if he was expecting her to say something, but she just readjusted her head on the pillow and seemed alright with not talking.

"You wanna tell me what happened?" he finally asked, realizing she wasn't going to spill.

She told him everything and he wrote it down.

"What about the reason you're in here?" he asked.

"What do you mean? I just told you he punched me, really hard" Amanda replied.

"And that's it?" he gave her a questioning look.

"You want more? What did the doctor tell you?" she gave him the same look.

"He said something about the wind being knocked out of you, which caused you to faint" he answered.

"Then that's what happened" she shrugged.

"So how comes you have to stay over night, and two sick days?" he didn't let it go "if you just fainted"

"You a doctor now too?" she smiled "I'm just following doctor's orders"

"Maybe he likes you" he wondered if that really was it, if nothing happened to her why would she need to stay over night?

"Mission accomplished then" she smiled.

Fin chuckled, he decided not to push it, the important thing was that Amanda's fine.

"Is he going to give you a ride home tomorrow?" he asked "or can I help with that?"

"Well, we were going to plan the wedding in the car but fine, you can pick me up, and there's something else you can help me with" she said.

"Let me guess, Frannie?"

"Is that ok?" Amanda asked.

"Sure, give me your keys"

She found her keys and gave them to Fin, she knew Nick didn't leave things lying around in her apartment, and unless Fin had plans to snoop around, he wasn't going to find anything incriminating.

Fin called Liv to inform her everything was fine and made his way to Amanda's apartment.

* * *

><p>Olivia was relieved to hear Amanda was fine, Fin said she just needed to rest, which meant they are going to be short staffed again.<p>

"So what's going on?" Nick asked right when he opened the door. He was on edge since leaving Benson's office.

Maria saw Liv walk in and walked over to her.

"SCU went over the apartment "she told them "they found passports" she gave Nick a copy of one of them, it had a picture of Zara but with a different name.

"What is this?" Nick asked showing it to Maria.

"We couldn't find any plane tickets, but I guess it means he wanted to take her somewhere, he's still not talking"

Nick nodded, what if he had lost his little girl forever?

"And Rollins?" he asked, giving the paper back to Olivia.

"Fin said she's doing alright, the doctor wanted her to stay over night, make sure everything's fine"

"That's good news" Maria smiled.

"Hey Olivia" Zara ran to her, she had something in her hand "I made this for Amanda because she helped you find me" she showed her the drawing "can I give it to her?"

"I'm sure she would love that" Olivia smiled and then turned to look at Nick "maybe you could visit her tomorrow and take her home? Fin said he'd do it but we're short staffed…"

"Of course" Nick said, he really wanted to see Amanda.

"Ok" Olivia smiled "have a good night"

"Thanks, you too" Nick smiled at her.

* * *

><p>The next morning they drove to the hospital. Zara was excited to see Amanda and thank her. Maria and Nick talked to her about what had happened, she apologized and promised never to do something like that again.<p>

Nick thought maybe it would have been better if she was more like him, less trusting, less naïve.

When they'd arrived Amanda was still lying in her bed, she was looking to the other direction and didn't notice them until Zara called her.

"Hey Amanda" she said "how are you feeling?"

Amanda turned to look at her, she had a big smile on her face "Zara! I'm so glad to see you" she glanced at Nick, and he smiled at her.

"Hey Amanda" Maria said, walking over to her "I just wanted to thank you, I don't know how, I…"

"Of course, I'm fine, don't worry about it" she looked at Maria "I'm just glad Zara's here"

"Look what I have for you" she said and gave her the drawing.

"Wow! It's beautiful" Amanda looked at it.

Maria looked over at Nick, there was something in his eyes, she walked back to him "can we talk for a minute?" she asked.

Zara was explaining every detail of the painting to Amanda so they walked out of the room.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"So you and Amanda" she went straight to the point, he tried to look confused, not really wanting to share this with Maria at the moment "I see the way you look at her" she said "is it serious?"

"Yes" he answered after a couple of minutes, maybe there was no point in hiding it from her.

"Anyone else knows?" she asked and he shook his head "I'm not going to say anything, I am happy for you"

He looked at her but stayed quiet so she continued "look Nick, I want you to be happy"

"I'd be happier with my daughter here" he said, she was about to answer but he stopped her "but I know it's not going to happen now, so I ask of you to take care of her, Please" he didn't want to fight, there was nothing he could do to get custody of Zara, all he could do was hope she'd be fine.

Maria nodded "maybe we should take a cab to the airport" she suggested "so you could take Amanda home"

He nodded, he still had to go back to work later, and eve though he wanted to spend more time with his daughter a drive to the airport wasn't the best thing.

They got back to the room where Zara was still sharing something about her school with Amanda. Nick could see Amanda looked tired and he told her he'd be back soon.

He said goodbye to his daughter and Maria, watched them get into a cab and followed it with his eyes until he couldn't see it anymore.

* * *

><p>"Hey" Nick said, walking towards her "how are you really doing?"<p>

"I'm fine" Amanda smiled.

He caressed her cheek when a nurse suddenly walked in.

"Sorry" she smiled, they both looked busted "I have the discharge papers for you" she gave them to Amanda.

She was about to walk out of the room, but turned to look at them "and again I am so sorry" her voice sounded very remorseful, Nick didn't think she had to feel that bad for walking in on them.

He looked at Amanda, there was something else.

"What was she talking about? Why is she so sorry?"

"For walking in on us" she said, trying not to look away "I should get dressed" she said.

"I'll wait outside" now he was convinced there was something else going on, but Liv said everything was fine, wasn't it?

* * *

><p>Once in the car he kissed her. It was a light kiss, but it felt like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. They've been together just a few days ago, but it felt like years, and he was so happy to be close to her.<p>

She smiled at him when they pulled away.

"I need to tell you something" he said, there were many things he had to share with her but it all could wait, except for one.

"I don't believe you" he said and she chuckled "why aren't you telling me what really happened?"

"Nick" she whispered, looking down a little.

"I can see something happened and I just need to know"

"I…" she started "can you take me home first?" she asked and he nodded, not wanting to push, she suddenly looked worried.

* * *

><p>"Where's Frannie?" he asked when they were inside the apartment.<p>

"I asked Fin to take her for the night" she explained.

"You're home" he smiled, he wouldn't let her get away with not telling.

Amanda walked to the bathroom and Nick sat down on the couch, waiting for her to come back.

"So what did they find out?" she asked when she walked out and joined him on the couch.

"They don't know, he ain't talking, but they found a fake passport for Zara…I don't know, I mean he wanted to take her somewhere? I don't think he's going to talk" he shrugged "I almost lost her, and I have no idea why"

"She's safe" she caressed his hand and he caught it with his other one.

"Amanda" he said softly, she looked away and he couldn't read her "what's going on?"

"It doesn't matter, not now" she shook her head a bit.

"It does, and you not telling me, I just…" he was still holding on to her hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing it gently. For a moment she looked at her hand, still in his, but then she finally told him.

"It was a miscarriage"

* * *

><p>"Nick?" she asked, he'd been staring at her for a while now, maybe she shouldn't have told him, he was stressed as it is.<p>

"I'm fine" she tried to reassure him, he still looked shocked but at least now he turned his head and looked at the table.

She was surprised herself when the doctor explained what had happened, he said it looked like she was maybe 4 weeks pregnant, and that it's not that uncommon, there was no way to connect it to the beating, even though that surely didn't help.

She asked him not to say anything to Fin, to make up some excuse, there was no way she could explain it to him.

She wasn't sure how to tell Nick. A part of her didn't want to say anything, he had enough on his plate. But the nurse caught them together and thought he knew, she knew he wouldn't give up.

He suddenly got up, walked over to the kitchen and put his arms on the counter, holding on to it. Amanda walked to him and wrapped her arms around him, leaning her head to his back. He placed his hands over hers and turned around after a moment, now he was embracing her.

* * *

><p>She told him what the doctor had explained to her. Nick tried to be calm, just listen to her. Amanda went quiet after she was done talking.<p>

"Amanda" was all he could say.

"I'm alright Nick" she smiled, but he could see there was something behind it, he loved her smiles, this one wasn't sincere.

"I mean it" she saw the doubtful look in his eyes.

He leaned to kiss her, he didn't know what to say, they had to talk about it, but right now she seemed tired and he had to go to the station. The soft kiss was the only thing that he could think about.

* * *

><p>He parked the car and looked at the station, things had to go back to normal. Maybe focusing on work was a good thing. Otherwise he'd have to think about almost losing Zara and losing a baby…<p>

Losing a baby.

He wasn't sure how he was feeling about it, it didn't even feel real.

Nick took a deep breath before walking inside, whatever he thought or felt, he knew one thing, he had to focus on what he didn't lose, what he had.

He would try his best to do that.

* * *

><p>-The end-<p>

* * *

><p><em>I like writing stories with a bitter side to them. Hope you enjoyed this one.<em>


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